Star Wars Jokes The following ‘Star Wars’ puns, bar gags, and dad jokes are so brilliantly dumb, they will hit both the ultra-fans and the uninitiated with equal… force.
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Star Wars Jokes
Episode I: Become Pun with The Force
Q: Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files?
A: Adobe Wan Kenobi
Q: Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating?
Q: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
A: To get to the Dark Side.
Q: Why is Yoda such a good gardener?
A: Because he has a green thumb.
Q: And why can’t you count on his to pick up the tab?
A: Because he’s always a little short.
Q: How do you get down from a bantha?
A: You don’t. You get down from a goose.
Q: What did the specter of Obi Wan Kenobi say to the bartender?
A: “Give me a beer and a mop.”
Jabba the Hut is fat.
How fat is he?
So fat, Obi Wan took a closer look and said, “That’s no moon.”
You won’t want to pass up these 25 corny jokes that everyone will laugh at.
Star Wars Navajo
Episode II: Bar Wars
The Star Wars text crawl walks into a bar.
“Get outta my pub!” the bartender yells. “We don’t serve your type here.”
Luke walks into the Mos Eisley cantina, cradling a slab of dirt in his arms.
“What’ll it be?” asks the barman.
“A pint for me, and one for the road.”
The Death Star’s shield generator walks into a bar. The bartender scowls and says, “Alright pal, I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a whisky and …… soda.”
The bartender says, “Sure thing—but why the little pause?”
“Dunno,” says the Ewok. “I’ve had them all my life.”
A clone trooper walks into a pub and asks the barman, “Hey, have you seen my brother?”
“I dunno,” says the barman, “What does he look like?”
Two Jawas walk under a bar.
Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, “Use the forks, Luke.”
A Hutt slithers into the food court. The cashier says, “Hey! We have a pizza place named after you!”
The Hutt says, “You have a pizza place named Jabba Desilijic Tiure?”
Don’t miss these 20 inspiring quotes all Star Wars fans should know by heart.
Episode III: If Darth Vader’s Final Words Were Dad Jokes
“Luke… I’m reading a great book about Force levitation… I can’t put it down.”
“Luke…did you know I almost joined the Jedi Debate Team? …Somebody talked me out of it.”
“Luke…did you know R2D2 used to work for me? …He asked to be paid under the table.”
“Luke… I just watched a great documentary about how the Death Star was built… It was riveting, Luke. It was riveting…”
Is The Force with you? Test your knowledge of that galaxy far, far away with these 14 Star Wars facts that everyone gets wrong.
Q: Where do you take a sick Tauntaun?
A: To a Hoth-pital
Q: What did the Sith repairman say when the client doubted he needed a new roof?
A: Search your ceiling, you know it to be true
Q: What do you call Chewbacca’s half-bird, half-robot pet?
A: A Cy-porg
Q: What kind of tea do bounty hunters drink?
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing
Q: What do you call a rebel princess who only shops at Whole Foods?
A: Leia Organic
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it
Q: Why was Rose sad while she was reading?
A: Because she lost her Paige
Q: Why is a gossip magazine like the Imperial Fleet?
A: They’re both full of star destroyers
Q: What did Han Solo say to the waiter who recommended the Haddock?
A: Never sell me the cods!
Q: Why were the other star cruisers sad after the race?
A: Because they lost and Rogue won
Q: What did the Rabbi say at Anakin Skywalker’s bar mitzvah?
A: Today you are a Manakin
Q: How are Stormtroopers like a shark in a fight?
A: They both end up missing a Finn
Q: Why was Mon Mothma banned from Jedi training?
A: She kept trying to fly into the lightsabers
Q: Why did the tapeworm stay far away from Palpatine?
A: He didn’t want anyone to say he was in Sidious
Q: What do you call Jabba the Hutt’s slave dancer when she’s in France?
Q: How do you make stir fry on Endor?
A: With an e-wok!
Q: What did Moff say when he was introduced as “The great great Tarkin”?
A: I’m just Grand
Q: What do you call Mandalorians who make smoothies a lot?
Q: What did Darth Vader say as he added salt to Lando’s soup?
A: I am altering the meal, pray I don’t alter it any further
[and one joke I didn’t tell my 6 year old]
Q: What did Finn do after the Force Awakened him?
Q: What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber?
A: A Sith-Kabob!
Q: Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?
A: So it doesn’t Hang Solow!
Q: Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money?
A: Because he’s always a little short
Q: What program do Jedi use to view PDF files?
A: Adobe Wan Kenobi
Q: What do you call a Mexican jedi?
A: Obi-Juan Kenobi
Q: What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets?
Q: What do you call a Jedi in denial?
A: Obi-Wan Cannot Be
Q: Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing?
A: At the Darth Maul
Q: Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
A: To get to the Dark Side.
Q: What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly?
A: Game of Clones
Q: What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
A: Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Q: What do you call a Sith who won’t fight?
A: A Sithy
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
Q: Why didn’t Luke cross the road?
A: Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.
Q: What do you call two suns fighting each other?
A: Star Wars
Q: What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?
A: A bow TIE.
Q: What is a Jedi’s favorite toy?
A: A yo-yoda
Q: What song would Darth Vader sing if he were a Disney character?
A: “When You Wish Upon A Death Star”
Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter
Q: What do you call a pirate droid?
Q: When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?
A: In the Sith Grade.
Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.
Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together
Q: What do you call potatoes that have turned to the Dark side?
A: Vader Tots
Q: Which Star Wars character uses meat for a weapon instead of a Lightsaber?
A: Obi Wan Baloney
Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
Q: Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
A: Because he’s always making new friends!
Q: What do Gungans put things in?
A: Jar Jars
Q: Why was yoda such a good gardener?
A: He had a green thumb!
Q: What do you get if you mix a fruit with a bounty hunter?
A: Mango Fett!
Q: What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
A: The appetizer.
Q: What did Obi Wan say to Luke when he tried to eat bantha pie with a spoon?
A: “Use the FORK, Luke.”
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with Darth Vader?
A: An ele-Vader.
Q: What would you call Padme if she was a dog?
A: Petme Imadoggie.
Q: Why did Yoda visit Bank of America yesterday?
A: He needed a bank clone!
Q: What do Whipids say when they kiss?
Q: What’s the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One’s an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.
Q: How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk?
A: With a woo-key
Q: What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name?
Q: Why did Padme Amidal keep her Boots on?
A: Because they were too BOOT-iful!
Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship might crack up.
Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
A: Time to get a new chronometer.
Q: Why do Twi’leks like to flip coins?
A: So that they can say, “Heads or tails!”