Really Funny Jokes

Really Funny Jokes

Really Funny Jokes There’s a pronouncing that a brief, concise and funny joke is higher than a long empty joke as no one wants to read an extended comic story just to discover it’s no longer that funny. One Linersare the solution, as quick as they’re, they will make you burst into uncontrollable laughter. Are you confused,

feeling depressed or in a terrible mood, those types of jokes will really cheer you up. Life’s too short to be in a horrific temper, absorb as many as you could and you’ll by no means feel the equal once more. Why waste your reminiscence on long uninteresting jokes when you could get some actually cool, fine and easy to memorize, quick funny jokes to cheer up your friends or use as a pickup line on the bar to interrupt the ice.

If what you’re seeking out is a funny tale, unluckily, you gained’t locate that right here, what we will provide are funny jokes for a quick humorous restore. We carry to you a reason to snicker once more. Laughter is right for the fitness, you might not need to take those drugs, after all, a touch laughter can heal you. A merry heart makes appropriate like a medicinal drug and we’ve were given loads of humorous jokes beneath to get you

Really Funny Jokes
Really Funny Jokes

Really Funny Jokes

 

Laughing. Anything From Short Funny Jokes, Political Jokes,

Sports Jokes, Business Jokes And Relationship Jokes, Just

Here Goes Our List of  Really Funny Jokes

 

That’ll Denitely

Make You Laugh

1) Dad: Shame on you, Peter. Why did you hit your little

sister?

Peter: Well, Daddy, we were playing Adam and Eve with

the apple and all. Well, instead of tempting me with that

apple, she ate the thing herself!

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2) Q: What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got

married?

A: Feyoncé!!

3) I told my dad to

8) It was the end of the school year and Joey’s mother

asked: “And were the exam questions difficult?”

“They weren’t bad at all,” her son replied. “It was the

answers that gave me all the trouble.”

9) Behind every great man is a woman with a hostage.

10) Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other?

A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.

11) *boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*

boy: “Mommy?”

mom: “What?”

boy: “Why is the girl dressed in white?”

mom: “Because this is the happiest day of her life.”

boy: “… so why is the boy dressed in black?”

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12) How do you keep a man from drowning? Get his

wife/GF off his back.

13) Fastest mode of communication – Tell a girl a rumour

and take a promise to keep it a secret.

14) Man: Why are you beating your son-in-law so

badly? He replies: I sent him a message that you have

become the father but he forwarded this message to his

friends!

15) Boy texts his Girl “Honey, I can’t live without you!

When will you come to me?” Here is the KILLING Reply –

Really Funny Jokes
Really Funny Jokes

“Who is dying! I lost my saved numbers, kindly tell me

your name?”

16) I think Fear Factor would have been much scarier if it

had just been people in their twenties trying to figure out

how to have careers!

17) Photographer: My secret of success is? ‘Think

negative’!

18) I have already acted on your memo on saving power

in my department by an immediate ban on employee

empowerment!

19) My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said that

at the end of this ruler is dumb. I got a detention after

asking, “Which end?”

20) It is better to be late than to arrive ugly!

Really Short Funny Jokes

21) How Bedroom smells after marriages:

 

22) First 3 months – Perfumes and Flowers!

23) After 12 month

29) I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am

perfect.

Really Funny Jokes
Really Funny Jokes

30) Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their

level, and then beat you with experience.

31) Doctor: You’re overweight.

Patient: I think I want a second opinion.

Doctor: You’re also ugly

32) I woke up with a dead leg this morning. That’s the

last time I take out a loan with the mafia.

33) The following text messages were exchanged on a

cold winters day in December.

Wife: “Windows frozen.”

Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”

Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”

34) I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an

orgasm but she said that she doesn’t like to call me at

work.

 

35) Got approached by a prostitute today who said that

she would do anything for $10. Guess who just got their

car washed?

36) My wife was complaining the other day saying that I

never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said

“come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station”

37) My clever friend said that onions are the only food

that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut in his face.

38) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is

not putting it in a fruit salad.

39) What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? Cha-Ching!

40) Yo mum’s so fat that when she stepped on the scales

it said: “1 at a time, please!”

Really Funny Jokes
Really Funny Jokes

41) Q: Why can’t a bike stand by itself?

A: Because It is two tired.

42) Q: Why was six scared of seven?

A: Because seven was a well-known six offender.

43) Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens?

A: A meowntain.

44) Q: How does NASA organize their company parties?

A: They ‘planet’.

45) One day a tiger was walking through the jungle, the

tiger saw two men relaxing under a tree. One was

reading a newspaper, and the other was working

feverishly on a manual typewriter.

The tiger leapt on the man with the newspaper and ate

him up. The tiger did not bother the other man at all.

Really Funny Jokes
Really Funny Jokes

That’s because any predator knows that readers digest

but writers cramp.

46) Nurse: “Doctor, the man you just treated collapsed

on the front step. What should I do?”

Doctor: “Turn him around so it looks like he was just

arriving!

47) A man called a hotel. “How much is a room?” The

clerk said, “It depends on the size of the room and the

number of people.” “Do you take children?” asked the

man. “No, sir,” replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit

cards!”

48) Husband: “Honey, am I the only man you’ve ever

loved?”

Wife: “Of course you are! Why do all men ask me the

same question?”

49) 40 is the new 30, try telling that to a speed camera.

50) Relationships are a much like algebra. Have you ever

looked at your X and wondered Y?

 

51) Girlfriend: “Will you love me after marriage also?”

Her Boyfriend: “This depends on your husband if he

allows me.”

52) Women are like a Tea Bags, u never know how strong

it is until it’s in hot water.

Really Funny Jokes
Really Funny Jokes

 

The Best Really Corny Jokes For Kids

Corny jokes Are first-rate! Yeah, they make you groan at their lousy cheesiness. But we wager whilst you hear truly corny joke you cannot wait to tell it for your buddies. Even if it’s just to peer them roll their eyes at how terrible your joke is, it’s still humorous simply to look at their reaction.

 

And corny jokes are not just for kids either. After all, Dads are infamous for telling horrific jokes!

 

With that during mind, we have accumulated together a big series of all of the excellent corny humor available. Our Dads could be so proud people!

Corny Jokes

How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips.

 

How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.

 

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.

 

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack.

 

What would bears be without bees? Ears.

 

How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

 

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.

 

What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.

 

 

 

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

 

What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.

 

What disease do you get when you put up the Christmas decorations? Tinselitus.

 

How do billboards talk? Sign language.

 

What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.

 

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

Really Corny Jokes For Kids
Really Corny Jokes For Kids

Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.

 

How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.

 

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

 

When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.

 

Why is corn such a good listener? Because it’s all ears.

 

What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.

 

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

 

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

 

 

 

What did the first plate say to the second plate? Dinner’s on me.

 

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.

 

Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion.

 

When is a car not a car? When it turns into a street.

 

How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.

Really Corny Jokes For Kids
Really Corny Jokes For Kids

Have you heard about the pregnant bed bug? She’s going to have her baby in the spring.

 

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.

 

Why is there a wall around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.

 

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

 

Why could the bee not hear what people were saying? He had wax in his ears.

 

What’s E.T. short for? He’s got little legs.

 

It’s Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow. I’m dreading it.

 

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down a mountain.

 

 

 

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You’re looking sharp.

 

What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast.

 

What’s a didgeridoo? Whatever it wants to.

 

Did you hear about the sensitive burglar. He takes things personally.

 

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

 

How do you stop moles digging in your garden? Hide the spade.

 

An Italian chef has died. He pasta way.

 

What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.

 

Why did Santa study music at college? To improve his rapping skills.

 

How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes.

 

How do snails fight? They slug it out.

 

What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.

Really Corny Jokes For Kids
Really Corny Jokes For Kids

What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.

 

Why shouldn’t you play cards on the savannah? Because of all the cheetahs.

 

 

 

Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers at parties? They find it hard to break the ice.

 

Did you hear about the population of Ireland’s capital? It’s Dublin.

 

How do you impress a female baker? Bring her flours.

 

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

 

Why did the mobile phone need glasses? It lost all it’s contacts.

 

What did the hat say to the scarf? You go ahead, I’ll hang around.

 

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?

 

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.

 

What did the chip say when he saw the cheese stealing? Hey, that’s Nachos.

 

Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his food? Because he was a little shellfish.

 

What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom? A sink.

 

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.

Really Corny Jokes For Kids
Really Corny Jokes For Kids

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.

 

 

 

What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.

 

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? Because he felt crummy.

 

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

 

Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.

 

Why do bananas wear sun cream? To stop them from peeling.

 

What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.

 

What’s the difference between America and a memory stick? One’s USA and the other’s USB.

 

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.

 

What’s a bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear.

 

Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn his alphabet? Because he always got lost at C.

 

What did the first street say to the second street? I’ll meet you at the intersection.

 

Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed.

 

What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

 

 

 

What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

 

Where do beef burgers go to dance? The meatball.

 

Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.

 

Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? The old Volks home.

 

What do a dog and a phone have in common? They both have collar ID.

 

What did the red light say to the green light? Don’t look, I’m changing.

 

What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up? Dino-sore.

 

What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-bees.

 

What did the axe murderer say to the judge? It was an axe-ident.

 

How much does a Mustang cost? More than you can af-Ford.

 

What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.

 

What do you call someone who plays tricks on Halloween? Prankenstein.

 

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.

 

What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block.

 

Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant? He was really good at bacon.

 

What do you call anxious dinosaurs? Nervous Rex.

 

What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.

 

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.

 

Why did the poor man sell yeast? To raise some dough.

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