Best Helen Keller Jokes

Helen Keller Jokes

Helen Keller Jokes You may not of heard about Helen Keller jokes, but bet me they are quite an interesting set of jokes you will ever

Keller then please do bear with us, it’s all a joke and nothing personal. A lot of things have been attributed to Helen Keller in these jokes, but they are just for fun.

Even if your name is Helen, I’m sure you will find these jokes interesting.

Helen Keller Jokes

 

Helen Keller Jokes
Helen Keller Jokes
  1. Why was Helen Keller late for school?

DUI

  1. Why is all of Helen Keller’s face burnt?

She was bobbing for French fries

  1. How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?

She answered the iron

  1. How did Helen Keller burn the other side of her face?

They called back

  1. What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?

Velcro

  1. How come Helen Keller can’t have kids?

Because

  1. How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate?

Trying to read her own lips.

  1. Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips

  1. What do you call Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller

playing tennis? Eternal love.

  1. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They

stuck a plunger in the toilet.

  1. How many kids did Helen Keller have? NONE! The

plunger went all the way through!

Helen Keller Jokes
Helen Keller Jokes
  1. If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she

make a sound?

  1. Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide?

You would too if your name was Urghrrghrghr

  1. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?

 

  1. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her?

Put saran wrap on the toilet

  1. What was Helen Keller’s favorite childhood game?

Musical chairs

  1. Why didn’t Helen Keller change her baby’s diaper?

So she could always find him

  1. Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?

From

  1. How did she burn the other one off?

They called back!

  1. What did Helen Keller name her dog?

Nymphdrumpherlmf.

  1. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her?

By walking on her Braille books with golf shoes.

  1. How does Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road!

  1. Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face?

She tried eating with a fork.

 

  1. Why was Helen Keller’s leg yellow?

Her dog was blind too.

Helen Keller Jokes
Helen Keller Jokes
  1. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her for swearing?

Washed her hands with soap.

  1. How did Helen Keller burn her hands?

She was trying to read a waffle iron

  1. Where do Helen Keller’s parents have her go when

there’s company over?

Disney world

  1. How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret?

Break her fingers

  1. Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she

knows where she’s going!

  1. What’s this (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller

moaning

  1. How do you tell if Helen Keller is alive? If you hear

something fall down the stairs

 

  1. Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

Because she sings with the other!

  1. Whats Helen Keller’s excuse every time she loses a competition?

She couldn’t see

  1. Why did Helen Keller’s last relationship not work?

Her boyfriend complained about how she never listened to his problems.

  1. Why did Helen Keller eat her poop?

She thought it was a candy bar.

  1. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll?

You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

  1. What is Helen Keller’s favorite Convenience Store?

WAAAWAAA

  1. Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was sajifjlsisdjifiuopoo

 

  1. How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?

Reading the waffle iron

Helen Keller Jokes
Helen Keller Jokes
  1. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?

She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue

  1. How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff?

She was wearing mittens

  1. Why does Helen Keller wear skin-tight pants?

So you can read her lips

 

  1. How did Helen Keller break her arm while in the car?

Trying to read a stop sign going 80

  1. Whats the name of Helen Keller’s favorite book?

Around the Block in 80 Days

  1. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love

52.Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in thebackyard?

Neither did she

  1. If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourthsense?

 

  1. What did Helen Keller say to the shop assistant when

she knocked over a product-display in the store?

Just looking!

  1. Why couldn’t Helen Keller play on her high school football team?

Because she’s a girl

  1. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she can moan with the other.

  1. How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf?

She was a PC and got a virus

  1. How do you mess with Helen Keller?

Give her a basketball and tell her to read it

  1. Why is it okay to tell Helen Keller jokes?

Because she can’t hear them anyway!

  1. What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?

Black

Helen Keller Jokes
Helen Keller Jokes
  1. How can you tell if Helen Keller has brushed her

teeth?

By the Gleam in her eye.

 

  1. Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one

hand?

She uses the other to sing with.

  1. What was the worst day in Helen Keller’s life?

The day she burned her mouth, and couldn’t taste anything, either.

  1. How did Helen Keller drive a car?

With one hand on the wheel, and one hand on the road.

  1. How did Helen Keller drive her car?

One hand on the wheel, the other on the road

  1. How did Helen Keller meet her husband?

On a blind date!

  1. How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?

Answering the stapler

  1. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller

and Stevie wonder?

Endless love

  1. Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!!

 

  1. What was Helen Keller’s favorite childhood game?

Musical Chairs

Helen Keller Jokes
Helen Keller Jokes
  1. How did Helen Keller’s teachers punish her for talking

in class?

hey made her wear mittens

  1. Remember the Helen Keller doll?

You’d wind her up and watch her walk into walls.

  1. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?

So she can moan with her right hand

  1. What is Helen Keller’s favorite mouthwash?

Jergens lotion.

  1. What did Helen Keller scream when she fell off the mountain?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

  1. Whats Helen Keller’s favorite movie? Around the

Block in 80 days.

  1. Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet?

Her dog was blind too.

 

Q: What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?

A1: Corduroy.

A2: Velcro.

 

  1. Why is all of Helen Keller’s face burnt?
  2. She was bobbing for french fries.

 

Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?

A: She answer the iron.

 

Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?

A: They called back.

 

Q: Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet?

A: Her dog was blind too.

 

  1. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
  2. she needs the other to moan with.

 

  1. How did she burn her fingers?
  2. Reading the waffle iron

 

  1. What did she do when she fell down the well?
  2. She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

 

  1. How come she didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff?
  2. She was wearing mittens

 

  1. Why does she wear skin tight pants?
  2. So you can read her lips

 

  1. Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide?
  2. You would too if your name was ‘Urghrrghrghr’.

 

  1. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
  2. Wind it up and it walks into walls.

 

  1. What’s this (slowly waving fingers)?
  2. Helen Keller moaning

 

Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?

A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn’t

scream for help.

Helen Keller Jokes
Helen Keller Jokes

Q:  How come Helen Keller can’t have kids??

A:  Because she’s DEAD!

 

How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?

Trying to read a stucco wall.

 

Q: What did HK’s parent’s do to punish her?

A1: Rearranged the furniture

A2: Left the plunger in the toilet bowl

A3: Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.

A4: Put her in a round room and told her there’s a penny in the corner

A5: Washed her hands out with soap

A6: Gave her bird-seed to read.

A7: Glued doorknobs to the walls

 

Q: Why can’t Helen Keller drive a car?

A1: She’s a woman.

A2: She’s dead.

 

Q: How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car?

A: Trying to read stop signs.

 

Q: How did HK get poke marks on her face?

A: Learning to eat with a fork.

 

Q: What’s the name of Helen Keller’s favorite book?

A: “Around the block in 80 Days”

 

Q: Define true love.

A: Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

 

Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard?

A: Neither did she.

 

Q: How did Helen Keller drive her car?

A: One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.

 

Q: How did Helen Keller meet her husband?

A: On a blind date!

 

Q: How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?

A: Answering the stapler.

 

Q: How did Helen Keller’s teachers punish her for talking in class?

A: They made her wear mittens.

 

Q: Why didn’t Helen Keller change her baby’s diaper?

A: So she could always find him.

 

Q: Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?

A: from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.