Funny Christmas Jokes
1. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life.
2. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had very low elf esteem.
3. What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs.
4. What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
5. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
6. Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
His wife was a total flake.
7. Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every single buck is dear to him!
8. What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?
A Christmas quacker.
9. What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
10. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?Funny Christmas Jokes
They’re into all the wrapping.
11. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house!
12. How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf.
13. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
14. What nationality is Santa Claus?
15. What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.
16. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
17. How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
18. What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
19. What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
20. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Funny Christmas Jokes
21. What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!
22. What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
This one’s gonna sleigh you!
23. What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
24. What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas?
It’s finally Christmas, Eve!
25. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No-el.
26. How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.
27. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
28. Where does santa keep all his money?
At the local snow bank.
29. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was searching for some holiday spirit.
30. Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?
Because they’re shell-fish.
31. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
32. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.
33. What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
34. Why is Santa kind of scared of chimneys?
Because he’s so claus-trophobic.
35. What do elves learn in school?
36. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with.
37. What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas Day?
38. Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
Because the present’s beneath them.
39. Why is Santa so good at karate?
Cause he’s got a black belt.
40. What part of the body do you only see around Christmas?
41. Where does mistletoe go to get famous?
42. Why is Santa always cast as the lead in the local musical?
Because he has such good presents.
43. What do you get when you deep fry Santa?
44. Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?
Because it soots him.
45. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
46. What’s Santa’s favorite candy?
47. What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
48. What do you call a snowman that can walk?
49. What do hip-hop artists do on Christmas?
50. What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling?
Funny Christmas Jokes
.What happens to elves when they behave naughty? Santa gives them the sack.
2.What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap.
3.What is a snowmans favorite breakfast? Ice Crispies.
4.Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no-body to go with.
5.Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince Spy!
6.What says ‘Oh Oh Oh’? Santa walking backwards!
7.What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
8.What do zombies eat with their Christmas dinner? Grave-y.
9.Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
10.What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrot?
11.Whats the best Christmas Present? A broken drum – you can’t beat it.
12.Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-alph!
13.Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
14.What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!
15.Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho.
16.What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
17.What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers!
18.Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
19.What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
20.What is a skunks favorite Christmas song? Jingle smells!
21.What is Santa’s dogs name? Santa Paws!
22.What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
23.What never eats at Christmas dinner? The turkey – it’s stuffed.
24.Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday? At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.
25.What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May? A puddle!
26.Did you know that Rudolph the Reindeer never went to school? He was elf taught.
27.What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
28.What do snowmen usually wear on their heads? Ice caps!
29.Where do you find chilli beans? At the north pole!
30.What is a librarians favorite Christmas song? Silent Night
31.What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An elfcicle!
32.What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? Holly Davidson.
33.Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it ‘soots’ him!
34.How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt!
35.What do you call an old snowman? Water.
36.What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.
37.How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing – it was on the house!
38.What does Santa say at the start of a race? Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!
39.Where do snowmen keep money? In a snow bank.
40.What type of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas.