50 Dirty Jokes That Are Always Funny

Dirty Jokes

Dirty Jokes

Dirty Jokes  It is actual. A few guys don’t like grownup dirty jokes, however i assume you will find that most guys love them. Even men who appear very conservative at the start look, will frequently surprise you with a shaggy dog story that they spring on you.

Why do men like person grimy jokes? Simple. Maximum men want to snigger. At an early age, maximum guys are uncovered to toilet humor and other juvenile humor. Their fathers once in a while tell them, or they’ll listen them from their buddies. For anything cause, it never seems to put on off. They go through their entire lives appreciating rest room humor, juvenile humor, and other humor.

It’s also type of like being part of a mystery club. It’s sort of a bonding thing. While men share person dirty jokes, they are opening as much as every different, sharing fun, and experiencing a short connection. Girls would not appreciate such an workout in bonding – it’s a man component.
Jokes also are frequently shared all through times when men are collectively for manly activities such as at the bar, searching, running on cars, golfing, and many others. Humor is continually part of those experiences and adult dirty jokes frequently play a position.
Explaining why men like adult dirty jokes is similar to explaining why a person climbs a mountain or why a man scratches himself. There’s no easy answer. It is simply a part of being a person. In short, it’s a guy factor. They’re now not for every man, however they truly part of lifestyles for others.

Dirty Jokes
Dirty Jokes

Best Dirty Jokes

1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

Dirty Jokes
Dirty Jokes

6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!
9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
10. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
11. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
12. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-a-lotta-puss.
13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
15. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
16. What’s the best part about gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
17. How is a girlfriend like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.
18. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?
The man.
19. Why do vegetarians give good head?
Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
20. What’s long and hard and full of semen?

Dirty Jokes

A submarine.
21. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.
22. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
23. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
24. Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
25. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
26. What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!
27. What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.
28. What’s another name for a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.
29. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
30. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?

Fucking hot!

Dirty Jokes
31. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
32. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
33. How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
34. Why do women have orgasms?
Just another reason to moan, really.
35. What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in!
36. What do you call a guy with a giant dick?
Phil!
37. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private tutor.
38. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
39. Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
40. How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
41. What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
42. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.
43. What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.

Dirty Jokes
44. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
45. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
46. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
47. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
48. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
49. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
50. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.

Some dirtiest Jokes In World

• Virginity is like a soap bubble – one prick and it’s gone.
• You know you’re getting old when you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
• The only reason the phrase “Ladies first” was invented was so guys could check out women’s asses.
• There’s nothing worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face… apart from finding out that it was traced.
• 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
• Is the last thing that Tickle Me Elmo gets before leaving the factory two test tickles?

Dirty Jokes
• Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.
• The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
• Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman it’s sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man it’s $3.99 a minute?
• Vagina – the box a penis comes in.
• I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didn’t have time.
• Life is sexually transmitted.
• If a fire-fighter’s business can go up in smoke, and a plumber’s business can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?
• Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
• Life is a lot like a penis – soft, relaxed and hanging free… then a woman makes it hard.
• The difference between a girlfriend and a wife is about 45 pounds.
• The difference between a boyfriend and a husband is about 45 minutes.

Dirty Jokes
Dirty Jokes

• A penis is like a Rubik’s Cube – the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
• The best way to make your wife scream during sex is to ring her up and tell her where you are.
• If you want to embarrass an archaeologist give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
• Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken…
• If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
• If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after a first date, chances are… you’ve got small boobs.
• A good bar is like a good woman – liquor in the front and poker in the back.
• The difference between “Ooooooh” and “Aaaaaah” is about three inches.
• If sex is a pain in the ass… then you’re doing it wrong.
• The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around.
• Do you know the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball – a guy will actually take the time to look for a golf ball.
• I went for a cheap circumcision – what a rip-off that was!
• Sperm is white and pee is yellow so a man can tell if he’s coming or going.

Dirty Jokes
• Nice girls blush when they watch porn, good girls smile because they know they can do better.
• I watched a really sad porn film the other day – it was a real tear-jerker.
• If you cross an owl and a rooster, do you get a cock that stays up all night?
• My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank because they caught him drinking on the job.
• My friend died of a Viagra overdose and they couldn’t close his casket.
• I should have known it would never work out between me and my ex-girlfriend – after all, I’m a Pisces and she’s a bitch.
• Vegetarians give good head because they’re used to eating nuts.
• I love every bone in your body, especially mine.
• Men are like public toilets – the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap.
• If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love?
• Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

Dirty Jokes
Dirty Jokes

• Cowgirls are like cow pats – the older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
• A slut is someone who’ll have sex with anyone, a bitch is someone who’ll have sex with anyone except you.
• Would you call an Italian hooker a pasta-tute?
• You know you’ve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows.
• I’d like to think inside your box.
• A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period.
• You know your girlfriend’s frigid if the lights go on when you open her legs.
• I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep – that’s got to be the ultimate rejection.
• My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyone’s hair.
• Walruses are like Tupperware – they both like a tight seal.

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