Dark Humor Jokes
1. What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? The redneck virgin.
2. How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the Jaw.
3. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They dont know where home is.
4. What’s the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
5. A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who’s driving? The cop.
6. My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she asked me “Is that the best you can do?” 7. What’s got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
8. Why was six afraid of seven? seven was black.
9. What’s worse than the Holocaust? 6 million Jews.
10. How do you make a baby float? Two scoops baby, one scoop ice-cream.
11. What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn’t? Ended a race.
12. A mexican with a boner runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawnmower.
13. A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what does he break? His nose.
14. A thai woman runs into a wall, what does he break? Her boner.
15. What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA.
16. How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
17. What’s the difference between a trunk full of bowling balls and a trunk full of dead babies? You can’t unload bowling balls with pitchfork.
18. How do you get a baby into a small box? With a Blender. How do you get a baby out of a small box? With Doritos
19. Whats the best thing ever? Throwing a dead baby off a roof. Whats better than that? Catching it with a pitchfork.
20. Whats the grossest thing ever? A bag full of dead babies. Whats grosser than that? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
21. How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.
22. Girls are like blackjack… I’m always going for 21 but I always end up hitting on 14
23. Why do white people own so many pets? Because they’re not allowed to own people anymore.
24. Pedofiles are fucking immature assholes.
25. What does a boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! JK he still hasn’t opened his present.
26. You’d think the Catholic Church would be in favour of condoms… less DNA evidence.
27. I can’t see the problem with calling an Australian and Aussie, a Pakistani a Paki a scotsman a scot. or a Frenchman a cunt.
28. I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
29. Why won’t Monica Lewinsky vote for Hilary Clinton? The last Clinton Presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
30. What do you call a child with down syndrome? Pretard
31. What did hitler get for his 6th birthday? G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake oven.
32. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off.
33. Why can’t mexicans win the Olympics? Anyone that can run jump or swim has already crossed the border.
34. What do you call a white man marrying the woman of his dreams? Incest.
35. Why are black men good at basketball? The whole purpose is to run shoot and steal.
36. What’s the best part about dead baby Jokes? They never get old.
37. People are like trees… They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
38. My boss farted in front of a Jewish client. “A little gas never killed anybody.”
39. What is it called when an Illegal Immigrant fights a Pedofile? Alien vs Predator.
40. What is Minecraft? Hitler’s second lesser known book about his love of knitting.
41. What’s the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school? Dont ask me I just fly the drone.
42. Whats the best part of an ISIS joke? The Execution.
43. What do you call someone with an extra chromosome swimming in the pool? Posidown.
44. What do you call 1000 aboriginals swimming in a dam? Coco pops What do you call 1000 dirty white men swimming in a dam? Coco pops after 20 minutes.
45. Did you hear the score in the Egypt v Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t.
46. What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid you will hate it as an adult.
47. Say what what you will about pedofiles but hey they do drive slower through school zones. The last three are what i think to be the worst sentences ever said.
48. So I was raping this girl the other night and she gave me aids! how does a 9 year old girl get aids? I guess my sister has been hanging around the wrong crowd.
49. I was eating this girl out the other night and I tasted horse semen so I said to her “oh that’s how you died grandma.”
50. So I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier.The look on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.