What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
How do fish get high?
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Everything’s fine. He woke up.
What does a grape say after it’s stepped on?
Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.
Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert.
Because they’re always stuffed.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
It gets toad away.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!