Cat Jokes & Funny Cat Jokes Dirty

Cat Jokes
Cat Jokes

Cat Jokes Need some purr-fect jokes to impress your friends?

Cat Jokes


What is it called when a cat wins first place at a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy.


Cat Jokes
Cat Jokes

What is a cat’s favorite book?

The Great Catsby.


Why don’t cats play poker?

Too many cheetahs.



What do cats like on a hot day?

Mice cream cones.




What do you call a pile of kittens?

A meowntain.


What do cats love to read?


Cat Jokes
Cat Jokes

There once was a princess that lived alone in a castle with her cat.

Being her only companion, she loved the cat very much. Little did she know, the cat was actually a handsome prince that had be cursed to live his life as a feline.


Seeing how much the princess loved the cat, the witch that had cursed him turned him back into a handsome prince, so he could spend the rest of his life with the princess.


Upon seeing the handsome prince, he said, “I bet you wish I wasn’t fixed now, huh?”


What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.


How do felines maintain law and order?

Claw Enforcement.


There are some sounds that everyone loves…


Shoes on gravel

Crackling of fire

The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you

Cats purring


Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!


What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.


How do you make a cat go “woof”? … douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! “woof!”

Cat Jokes
Cat Jokes

3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?


Answer : Chi-ca-go


there are 5 cats on a boat and 1 jumps off. how many are left?- 0 they were copy cats


two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?


because it heard one say i’m gonna eat that p


Funny Cat Jokes Dirty


Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?

A: Purrr-ple


Q: What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?

A: A first-aid Kit.


Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

A: Hailing’ taxi cabs!


Q: Why are cats good at video games?

A: Because they have nine lives!


Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?

A: Because he’s always spotted!


Q: What song does a cat like best?

A: Three Blind Mice.

Funny Cat Jokes Dirty
Funny Cat Jokes Dirty

Q: What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?

A: Catch!


Q: Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

A: To the mewseum


Q: Why did the cat go to medical school?

A: To become a first aid kit


Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?

A: Kitty-hawk


Q: Have you ever seen a catfish?

A: No. How did he hold the rod and reel?


Q: What state has a lot of cats and dogs?

A: Petsylvania


Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?


A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.


Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?


A: Just kitten!


  1. What does a cat have that no other animal has?


  1. Kittens.


Q: What did the cat say when the mouse got away?


A: You’ve got to be kitten me!


Q: Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?


A: There are too many cheetahs.


Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer?


A: To keep an eye on the mouse!


Q: Why did the cat wear a dress?


A: She was feline fine.


Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?


A: I’m paw!


Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping?


A: They prefer a cat-alogue.


What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.


What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.


Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.


Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

A: Hailing taxis


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